May 2020: You are Not Alone

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Actually, I am. I’ve been alone for 57 days. Everything I do is alone.

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May is Mental Health Awareness month. Respect. I hear and read that apparently, I am not alone, pretty much everywhere I look these days . Mostly on social media. On tv. And at work.

I get it. You want to help me feel supported. It’s nice. Thank you. But here is the thing: I am actually alone. It’s been 57 days. Physically alone. So forgive me if this season’s ‘you are not alone’ messaging outs me in my feelings a little bit, makes me think and moves me to write.

Sure, there are people everywhere in my virtual universe. All day, everyday at work, like everyone else. Plus, I hang out with Mom, my quarantine MVP, practically everyday. There are the Friday night happy hour with the gang. Random family calls that linger into seeing my niece in the bath or trying all the FaceTime filters and making faces with my nephew. Even an occasional Saturday connection with my Germans. A daily musical note from my someday-step-daughter. I can’t say I don’t feel connected.

But I am literally alone. Actually, we all are.

Even those of you distancing with other individuals, or your family. Everyone experiences the effects of the global pandemic differently. And uniquely. There are no two experience alike, even for those stuck together. Reality is: everybody is alone. At the end of the day, this season is one of being alone.

Being alone is what brings us together.

It’s the brutality of being alone that actually brings us to an experience of togetherness. That thought brings me to an incredible place of compassion I’ve never felt before: we are all in this together. At the same time. In the same universe. At the same moment. There is so much power in being alone together.

So while messages of being alone don’t resonate with me, those of togetherness make me feel connected. I am there too. Don’t get not being alone and being together confused. I find in those concepts, two completely different topics.

May is Mental Health Awareness month. Proceed with care and be well.